Ramblings of Rebekah

Wooohooo! Only 5 weeks of school left! I am very ready to go home, and I am thrilled to see what will happen in the next year.

For some reason my posts on here are always serious. I guess I’m so goofy all of the time, and I rarely have deep conversations with people other than the parents and Whitney and Katie, that I just need to get it out. I mean, I am a very open person. There isn’t really anything that I won’t tell people. I don’t have secrets. I will have a deep conversation with anyone, but I think people peg me as the silly loud girl when they first meet me, and don’t really look further. People get surprised when they find out that I am extremely emotional, and when they find out that I’m not dumb. I think I give off the impression that I’m dumb without meaning to.
I have been talking about this with W&K and how I just don’t know what to do with my personality and being a Christian. I feel as though I should be docile, sweet, serious and shy little Christian girl, but I am so far from it. I am way too silly, and for some reason inappropriate things just slip out of my mouth, and then people place me in that category, and its hard to make the transition to a serious topic or witness. I don’t know what to do, because I think that I make people happy, but this just isn’t who I envisioned I would be.

I have this thing where I see myself in the future, and its such a great image, but its like the person isn’t me at all, well not my personality. And I’m wondering how I would get from the person I am today to then. Its unrealistic because its not me. Its kind of like how as a kid I thought I would feel grown up by 19, but in reality I still feel like a kid, and I’m not at all who the younger me thought I would be.

I don’t know if any of the above made sense at all haha.

I want to get involved in a bible study/small group next year. I need to find one. I think I’m going to go to Southeastern, and I super excited about that, but I just don’ know yet.

I want to do some kind of mission work this summer, I don’t have to go off, just around Birmingham, because I am not putting my faith into action, and that is wrong. I’m bad about focusing too much on what things I need to change in my life to help my personal Christian growth, when I should focus on serving others, because there is obviously a serious heart issue there if I am not. Because of my faith I should be wanting to help others and have a servants heart like Christ. I think about mission work and I want to do it, but it never seems to come to fruition.


What I’m praying for:
A servant’s heart
A lead in to witnessing to others while keeping my personality
A group of friends for next year (I’m always praying for friends it seems... sad)
A college to go to
That I will someday be a part of something beautiful that serves the Lord