Passion and Purity

I am once again rereading Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot. This book is so incredible, and I suggest everyone read it. When I read this book I am so encouraged and God uses this to give me strength to persevere and it always has me reassessing my life. It makes me consider how I am going about trying to stay pure in all aspects, not only in the physical sense, but also keeping my heart and my thoughts pure, which is definitely a struggle. I love rereading this because it is interesting to see what strikes me and I underline each time. It is definitely different depending on the stage I am going through in my life and what God is saying to me.

Something that I underlined previously and struck me even harder this time I read it, is this:
"But the things that we feel most deeply we ought to learn to be silent about, at least until we have talked them over thoroughly with God."

This is definitely convicting for me, although I have been working on that. I tend to want to talk about everything, hash out my thoughts and feelings, and get people's opinions. This is tough when I know God has told me certain things are meant for me only at the time being. I have, in fact, gotten better at keeping certain things between me and God, and then if I do need additional advise or counsel, I will usually turn to Whitney and Katie. With things that are meant to be private, I will pray about these things relentlessly and if I feel that God is allowing me to confide in someone I will proceed. The Bible says we are to carry one anothers burdens, rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep, so I believe God gave me these people to confide in, to be accountable to, and to learn from. They are like-minded and genuinely care about helping guide me in a way that is Christ exalting and keeping to Scripture.

This Fall has definitely been a learning experience for me. God has shared with me some things that are incredible yet scary. Months of prayer have been devoted to these things, because I don't want to put my wishes and desires in the place of God's voice, and I don't want to misconstrue something that Satan may have said and think that it was God who said it. He has had to teach me to keep my mouth shut. God is patiently and mercifully working with me on waiting and trusting His promises in a manner that is glorifying to Christ. He has been gently and kindly showing me how to listen to His voice, and through this I have learned so much about prayer.

Numbers 23:19

God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?

The Fellowship of the Unashamed.

I am a part of the Fellowship of the Unashamed.

I have the Holy Spirit Power. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made.

I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I won't look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still.

My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure.

I am finished and done with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tame visions, mundane talking, chintzy giving, and dwarfed goals.

I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity.

I don't have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded.

I now live by presence, learn by faith, love by patience, lift by prayer, and labor by power.

My pace is set, my gait is fast, my goal is Heaven, my road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions few, my Guide is reliable, my mission is clear.

I cannot be bought, compromised, deterred, lured away, turned back, diluted, or delayed.

I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of adversity, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.

I won't give up, back up, let up, or shut up until I've preached up, prayed up, paid up, stored up, and stayed up for the cause of Christ.

I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I must go until He returns, give until I drop, preach until all know, and work until He comes.

And when He comes to get His own, He will have no problem recognizing me. My banner is clear.

Worries

As to what the future holds for me, I have no idea. I believe I will either go to Jeff State or UAB. I don’t know as of right now. I’m really nervous about not having friends next year. I am finally back home and I am happy and I get to hang out with two of my best friends all the time, but they will be leaving for Auburn in two months. That scares me. I don’t want this year to be like last year. It will obviously be better in the fact that I will have my family and I will have not one, but two great churches to go to. I am just praying that I will be able to find some Godly friends in those churches. I am hoping I can get involved in a great bible study or something. I am just so scared that I won’t have any friends, and I am someone who desperately needs relationships. I am very much a people person. I know God is sovereign and He will provide, but I can’t help but worry. That is something I am praying about and hopefully I will overcome that.

Redeeming Love

So I am reading this book, Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers, for the trillionth time. I read it a couple times a year and it never gets old. I seriously can't even count the times I've read it. I know it backwards and forwards but yet I still sob every time, I'm amazed by God' love for me every time, and I pray that God will give me a husband like Michael Hosea.
Every woman needs to read this to see what a husband should be and every man needs to read this to see what kind of man they should be.

I can't even describe my love for this book.
Read it.

Love

I adore:

• Mark Driscoll
• John Piper
• David Platt aka DP
  
• Matt Chandler

and have been listening to them CONSTANTLY here lately.
Anyway, I just heard of Matt Chandler the other day because someone posted a clip of him as their FB status. This clip is...wow. It breaks my heart and is such an incredible story. So, I now love him.
Some websites I love from these Godly men are:

John Piper
http://www.desiringgod.org/

Mark Driscoll
http://www.marshillchurch.org/


I love me some great Godly people. I need more in my life.


The Clip:

Broken Hearted

I am so broken hearted. I’m tired of everything in my life right now with the exception of a couple of things. I'm tired of this world and the thing in it. I don't want to be a part of any of it. I'm ready to be in Heaven with my Jesus.


I don’t like how I’m reacting to things that happen, or to people. I become jealous, bitter, and wonder why God made me the way I am. I don’t like being unhappy and sad, but people break my heart. I shouldn’t let people disappoint me, but they do. Others’ actions shouldn’t affect how I feel or how my day goes, but they do. I then begin to question why God placed certain people in my life. Is it to hurt me? It is obviously to teach me something, but I am constantly angry at myself for reverting back to my old ways. Sometimes I think maybe people are in my life so that Christ can reveal himself through me, but obviously not, because I am an utter failure at showing God‘s love. I wish I could take back the last 5 years and re-do them with the knowledge I have now. Everything would be different. I wouldn’t have so much shame, guilt, and regret, and I could have possible made a difference. I could be a better witness. I can’t take back the past, but I can do things differently in the future. I am excited to start over. Move back home, new college, new job place, hopefully some new friends. Maybe I’ll do it right this time. I know God has a plan for this mess that is my life.

All this being said,
God is sovereign.

Although no one died, I still feel this song fits.

Ramblings of Rebekah

Wooohooo! Only 5 weeks of school left! I am very ready to go home, and I am thrilled to see what will happen in the next year.

For some reason my posts on here are always serious. I guess I’m so goofy all of the time, and I rarely have deep conversations with people other than the parents and Whitney and Katie, that I just need to get it out. I mean, I am a very open person. There isn’t really anything that I won’t tell people. I don’t have secrets. I will have a deep conversation with anyone, but I think people peg me as the silly loud girl when they first meet me, and don’t really look further. People get surprised when they find out that I am extremely emotional, and when they find out that I’m not dumb. I think I give off the impression that I’m dumb without meaning to.
I have been talking about this with W&K and how I just don’t know what to do with my personality and being a Christian. I feel as though I should be docile, sweet, serious and shy little Christian girl, but I am so far from it. I am way too silly, and for some reason inappropriate things just slip out of my mouth, and then people place me in that category, and its hard to make the transition to a serious topic or witness. I don’t know what to do, because I think that I make people happy, but this just isn’t who I envisioned I would be.

I have this thing where I see myself in the future, and its such a great image, but its like the person isn’t me at all, well not my personality. And I’m wondering how I would get from the person I am today to then. Its unrealistic because its not me. Its kind of like how as a kid I thought I would feel grown up by 19, but in reality I still feel like a kid, and I’m not at all who the younger me thought I would be.

I don’t know if any of the above made sense at all haha.

I want to get involved in a bible study/small group next year. I need to find one. I think I’m going to go to Southeastern, and I super excited about that, but I just don’ know yet.

I want to do some kind of mission work this summer, I don’t have to go off, just around Birmingham, because I am not putting my faith into action, and that is wrong. I’m bad about focusing too much on what things I need to change in my life to help my personal Christian growth, when I should focus on serving others, because there is obviously a serious heart issue there if I am not. Because of my faith I should be wanting to help others and have a servants heart like Christ. I think about mission work and I want to do it, but it never seems to come to fruition.


What I’m praying for:
A servant’s heart
A lead in to witnessing to others while keeping my personality
A group of friends for next year (I’m always praying for friends it seems... sad)
A college to go to
That I will someday be a part of something beautiful that serves the Lord