Wedding Dress

This song has been breaking my heart here lately. It makes me so sad to see my actions and the bride of Christ all together whoring herself to other things that cannot compare to what we have in our bridegroom.

My favorite part is,

I am so easily satisfied
by the call of lovers so less wild
That I would take a little cash
Over your very flesh and blood

I am so content with the things of this world, when I have a Savior that is ultimately satisfying to the depths of my soul. I desire worldly things that pass away easily over a passionate loving beautiful Creator. My satisfaction with mediocrity is tragic.

Wedding Dress lyrics:

If you could love me as a wife
and for my wedding gift, your life
Should that be all I'd ever need
or is there more I'm looking for

and should I read between the lines
and look for blessings in disguise
To make me handsome, rich, and wise
Is that really what you want

I am a whore I do confess
But I put you on just like a wedding dress
and I run down the aisle
and I run down the aisle
I'm a prodigal with no way home
but I put you on just like a ring of gold
and I run down the aisle to you

So could you love this bastard child
Though I don't trust you to provide
With one hand in a pot of gold
and with the other in your side

I am so easily satisfied
by the call of lovers so less wild
That I would take a little cash
Over your very flesh and blood

Because money cannot buy
a husband's jealous eye
When you have knowingly deceived his wife

Ezekiel 16 is all about the Lord's faithless bride.

· Verse 6-7 says, "And when I passed by you and saw you wallowing in your blood, I said to you in your blood, ‘Live!’ I said to you in your blood, ‘Live!’ I made you flourish like a plant of the field."

o This just shows the beautiful picture of us wallowing dying in our sin when Christ comes along and tells us to live, and not only that He grows us and makes us thrive. We were worthless people, and he lovingly commands us to live.

· Verse 8 is gorgeous. “…I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered your nakedness; I made my vow to you and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Lord God, and you became mine.”

o This is such a beautiful picture of Christ covering us with his righteousness and making us His. This verse amazes me in the fact that He loves me and has a covenant and wanted me for Himself and made me His.

· Verse 15 brings the heartbreak after talking about how the Lord lovingly adorns us, anoints us with oil, and provides for us. It says, “But you trusted in your beauty and played the whore because of your renown and lavished your whorings on any passerby; your beauty became his.”

o The verses go on to talk about how this bride destroyed the things that he had given her. It says she made idols out of the jewelry, and the children she bore him, she sacrificed. In verse 22 it says, “And in all your abominations and your whorings you did not remember the days of your youth, when you were naked and bare, wallowing in your blood.”

o So often we do this, we throw away the gifts God has given us, or use them for our own selfish ambition and desires, not remembering that Christ has brought us out of our dying state. Those gifts he has given us are meant to serve him, to honor him, and to be used in a way that demonstrates our covenant with our Savior.

· The chapter goes on talking about the bride’s sins, but in the end, after everything that has done, still, the Lord establishes a new covenant. 62 says, “I will establish my covenant with you, and you shall know that I am the Lord”

o Ah! God’s character completely astounds me. After all is done he establishes a new covenant with us, all so that we will know that He is God, and He is most worthy, holy, glorious, sovereign, highest, and the only one deserving of praise.

Suffocating

I feel like I am suffocating.

Suffocating from where I am in my life at the moment.

I'm utterly desperate for change.

I want God to move in a big way in my life.

All I can do is wait until He does, and pray I don't lose my mind before then.

Things

My heart is broken, and I am sickened by the fact that I just EASILY got rid of 4 huge black garbage bags slammed full with clothes. That is not to mention the 4 big boxes and 4 other bags that I got rid of last semester. This is so heart breaking that I have that many clothes and things, when there are little babies with nothing to put in their bellies, nothing to wear, and no shoes to put on their sweet little feet. I am hurting at my complete and utter wastefulness. I don’t need that many clothes and honestly, I don’t even want that much stuff. It is eye opening to look around and see how I fill my life with so many things, and don’t even notice it.

God take it all. I want nothing but You. Forgive me for my selfishness, and disregard for the hurting. Break my heart for what breaks Yours, Father. Thank you for loving me and opening up my eyes to my sin.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

I would just like to say that today sucked, but I'm glad God is still sovereign.

Check up

We need to take the Bible literally, do what it says, and start acting like Christians instead of just saying we are when it's convenient. Let's start holding each other accountable. So here it goes, if you claim to be a Christian, ACT LIKE IT! We all make mistakes but we're called to be different and there is NO excuse to say you are a Christian and then go partying on the weekends. We are not supposed to act like the world. We should be the church that Christ desires, but this American “christianity” SICKENS me. I want to puke when I see how the church acts and how everyone is a “christian” I’m sure people that don’t know Christ are so confused when they see “christians” out partying, drinking it up, having sex, doing drugs, acting like the world, then condemning them for doing the same thing! Goodness people, I get confused. Constantly when I am on facebook I see pictures of “christians” at frat parties boozing it up and frankly, looking like prostitutes, and I am boggled. Wait, I thought this girl was a Christian. Is she? Huh. I don’t know. WE ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE THE WORLD! There should be NO doubt in outsider’s minds that we follow Christ. As Whit pointed out the other day, why do people not ask the reason for the hope that is within us? The Bible says, be prepared to give an answer WHEN someone asks about the hope within us. Why do they not ask? BECAUSE WE RESEMBLE THE WORLD. WE ARE THE WORLD!

Why be a hypocrite? What is the point? God knows your heart. He knows if we are just faking it. So I’m wondering when we are going to start taking Matthew 18:15-20 seriously, and start acting on it. What about 1 Corinthians 5:9-13. It says we are not to associate with someone who claims to be a brother and continues to do all kinds of sin. It says,”For what have I do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you.” When do we start to take this literally and applying it? We are all about the love and not judging others, which praise the Lord we are able to love, but we must not forget that we are supposed to hold each other accountable. We are so frightened of hurting others feelings and calling someone out. But if a person says they are a Christian, we are supposed to call them out when they aren’t obeying Jesus. It is LOVING to do so.

And yes, this subject gets me heated, but I’ll let ya in on a little secret as to why. This was me a few years ago. Yeah. I was a “christian”. I was the biggest hypocrite. I did what I wanted, and I also managed to be self righteous at the same time. I wish someone had called me out. I wish someone had said, Rebekah you are an idiot and you aren’t a Christian. You need to check yourself and meet Jesus. I so want us to be obedient to God, and I don’t say all these things to be mean, but I say them because I love these people so much, and I don’t want them to go through all the struggles I did.

This is half hearted living. Jesus came to give us life, and for us to live it to the full. And yes, we make mistakes and we are sinners, but there should be a constant battle raging against sin, and God should be winning that battle. We should despise our sin and strive to be obedient. Jesus, so graciously, transformed us into new creations when He saved us. My heart breaks for this generation. People are missing out on so much. A relationship with Jesus is surpassingly better than anything that this world can provide.

I love you all so very much, and I hope that y’all see my heart on this issue, and don’t take it in hateful way, but rather in a way that demonstrates how much I actually do love you.

Luke 9:23

I have been convicted here lately, and I am beginning to realize that I am an idiot. I spend so much time and energy thinking about trivial things that are temporary or just plain dumb, when there are people dying every day and being eternally punished in hell because of their depravity. But here I sit whining about school or this that and the other in my comfortable life. Lately all I have been hearing from God is Him shouting, “EVANGELIZE! EVANGELIZE! EVANGELIZE!”

God give me a heart for you. Give me a heart for the broken hearted, poor, destitute, and needy.

I am called to DO SOMETHING. What does this mean in my life? I don’t know, except that I must do, I must act; I absolutely must change and give all.

God I don’t want to be the same. Everything is Yours. Take it all Jesus. Everything. Family, money, shelter, friends, comfort, safety, everything God. Take my plans and my desires and destroy them. Make them yours God. All I care about is You Jesus. You are all that matters. I want to be obedient. Make me obedient Father. I want to follow you.

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Precious Hanna got to be held in the arms of Jesus early Friday. My heart is broken. My prayers are consumed with intercessions for the Willinghams to receive comfort. I know that He is near the broken hearted and saves the crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). In Matthew 5:4 it says, Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. I know God intends this for good and for His glory, and I praise Him for that in the midst of the pain. I know I can rejoice in the fact that Hanna is in Heaven laughing and playing and praising Jesus with her big sister. She is no longer in pain, and she can move freely and she can breathe easily, and it is comforting to know that. In times like these, all I can do is know that God is God, and He is loving and merciful and kind and He is sovereign. All I can do is praise Him for this, and know that He has a plan and that this will in some way bring glory to His name. I am thankful for the time that Hanna was in this world, and all the time I got to spend with her and love on her. God blessed me so immensely in knowing her. And although my heart breaks, all I know to do is be thankful and rejoice in the character of God. He is worthy to be praised in all circumstances.

The LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD. Job 1:21