Wedding Dress

This song has been breaking my heart here lately. It makes me so sad to see my actions and the bride of Christ all together whoring herself to other things that cannot compare to what we have in our bridegroom.

My favorite part is,

I am so easily satisfied
by the call of lovers so less wild
That I would take a little cash
Over your very flesh and blood

I am so content with the things of this world, when I have a Savior that is ultimately satisfying to the depths of my soul. I desire worldly things that pass away easily over a passionate loving beautiful Creator. My satisfaction with mediocrity is tragic.

Wedding Dress lyrics:

If you could love me as a wife
and for my wedding gift, your life
Should that be all I'd ever need
or is there more I'm looking for

and should I read between the lines
and look for blessings in disguise
To make me handsome, rich, and wise
Is that really what you want

I am a whore I do confess
But I put you on just like a wedding dress
and I run down the aisle
and I run down the aisle
I'm a prodigal with no way home
but I put you on just like a ring of gold
and I run down the aisle to you

So could you love this bastard child
Though I don't trust you to provide
With one hand in a pot of gold
and with the other in your side

I am so easily satisfied
by the call of lovers so less wild
That I would take a little cash
Over your very flesh and blood

Because money cannot buy
a husband's jealous eye
When you have knowingly deceived his wife

Ezekiel 16 is all about the Lord's faithless bride.

· Verse 6-7 says, "And when I passed by you and saw you wallowing in your blood, I said to you in your blood, ‘Live!’ I said to you in your blood, ‘Live!’ I made you flourish like a plant of the field."

o This just shows the beautiful picture of us wallowing dying in our sin when Christ comes along and tells us to live, and not only that He grows us and makes us thrive. We were worthless people, and he lovingly commands us to live.

· Verse 8 is gorgeous. “…I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered your nakedness; I made my vow to you and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Lord God, and you became mine.”

o This is such a beautiful picture of Christ covering us with his righteousness and making us His. This verse amazes me in the fact that He loves me and has a covenant and wanted me for Himself and made me His.

· Verse 15 brings the heartbreak after talking about how the Lord lovingly adorns us, anoints us with oil, and provides for us. It says, “But you trusted in your beauty and played the whore because of your renown and lavished your whorings on any passerby; your beauty became his.”

o The verses go on to talk about how this bride destroyed the things that he had given her. It says she made idols out of the jewelry, and the children she bore him, she sacrificed. In verse 22 it says, “And in all your abominations and your whorings you did not remember the days of your youth, when you were naked and bare, wallowing in your blood.”

o So often we do this, we throw away the gifts God has given us, or use them for our own selfish ambition and desires, not remembering that Christ has brought us out of our dying state. Those gifts he has given us are meant to serve him, to honor him, and to be used in a way that demonstrates our covenant with our Savior.

· The chapter goes on talking about the bride’s sins, but in the end, after everything that has done, still, the Lord establishes a new covenant. 62 says, “I will establish my covenant with you, and you shall know that I am the Lord”

o Ah! God’s character completely astounds me. After all is done he establishes a new covenant with us, all so that we will know that He is God, and He is most worthy, holy, glorious, sovereign, highest, and the only one deserving of praise.

Suffocating

I feel like I am suffocating.

Suffocating from where I am in my life at the moment.

I'm utterly desperate for change.

I want God to move in a big way in my life.

All I can do is wait until He does, and pray I don't lose my mind before then.

Things

My heart is broken, and I am sickened by the fact that I just EASILY got rid of 4 huge black garbage bags slammed full with clothes. That is not to mention the 4 big boxes and 4 other bags that I got rid of last semester. This is so heart breaking that I have that many clothes and things, when there are little babies with nothing to put in their bellies, nothing to wear, and no shoes to put on their sweet little feet. I am hurting at my complete and utter wastefulness. I don’t need that many clothes and honestly, I don’t even want that much stuff. It is eye opening to look around and see how I fill my life with so many things, and don’t even notice it.

God take it all. I want nothing but You. Forgive me for my selfishness, and disregard for the hurting. Break my heart for what breaks Yours, Father. Thank you for loving me and opening up my eyes to my sin.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

I would just like to say that today sucked, but I'm glad God is still sovereign.

Check up

We need to take the Bible literally, do what it says, and start acting like Christians instead of just saying we are when it's convenient. Let's start holding each other accountable. So here it goes, if you claim to be a Christian, ACT LIKE IT! We all make mistakes but we're called to be different and there is NO excuse to say you are a Christian and then go partying on the weekends. We are not supposed to act like the world. We should be the church that Christ desires, but this American “christianity” SICKENS me. I want to puke when I see how the church acts and how everyone is a “christian” I’m sure people that don’t know Christ are so confused when they see “christians” out partying, drinking it up, having sex, doing drugs, acting like the world, then condemning them for doing the same thing! Goodness people, I get confused. Constantly when I am on facebook I see pictures of “christians” at frat parties boozing it up and frankly, looking like prostitutes, and I am boggled. Wait, I thought this girl was a Christian. Is she? Huh. I don’t know. WE ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE THE WORLD! There should be NO doubt in outsider’s minds that we follow Christ. As Whit pointed out the other day, why do people not ask the reason for the hope that is within us? The Bible says, be prepared to give an answer WHEN someone asks about the hope within us. Why do they not ask? BECAUSE WE RESEMBLE THE WORLD. WE ARE THE WORLD!

Why be a hypocrite? What is the point? God knows your heart. He knows if we are just faking it. So I’m wondering when we are going to start taking Matthew 18:15-20 seriously, and start acting on it. What about 1 Corinthians 5:9-13. It says we are not to associate with someone who claims to be a brother and continues to do all kinds of sin. It says,”For what have I do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you.” When do we start to take this literally and applying it? We are all about the love and not judging others, which praise the Lord we are able to love, but we must not forget that we are supposed to hold each other accountable. We are so frightened of hurting others feelings and calling someone out. But if a person says they are a Christian, we are supposed to call them out when they aren’t obeying Jesus. It is LOVING to do so.

And yes, this subject gets me heated, but I’ll let ya in on a little secret as to why. This was me a few years ago. Yeah. I was a “christian”. I was the biggest hypocrite. I did what I wanted, and I also managed to be self righteous at the same time. I wish someone had called me out. I wish someone had said, Rebekah you are an idiot and you aren’t a Christian. You need to check yourself and meet Jesus. I so want us to be obedient to God, and I don’t say all these things to be mean, but I say them because I love these people so much, and I don’t want them to go through all the struggles I did.

This is half hearted living. Jesus came to give us life, and for us to live it to the full. And yes, we make mistakes and we are sinners, but there should be a constant battle raging against sin, and God should be winning that battle. We should despise our sin and strive to be obedient. Jesus, so graciously, transformed us into new creations when He saved us. My heart breaks for this generation. People are missing out on so much. A relationship with Jesus is surpassingly better than anything that this world can provide.

I love you all so very much, and I hope that y’all see my heart on this issue, and don’t take it in hateful way, but rather in a way that demonstrates how much I actually do love you.

Luke 9:23

I have been convicted here lately, and I am beginning to realize that I am an idiot. I spend so much time and energy thinking about trivial things that are temporary or just plain dumb, when there are people dying every day and being eternally punished in hell because of their depravity. But here I sit whining about school or this that and the other in my comfortable life. Lately all I have been hearing from God is Him shouting, “EVANGELIZE! EVANGELIZE! EVANGELIZE!”

God give me a heart for you. Give me a heart for the broken hearted, poor, destitute, and needy.

I am called to DO SOMETHING. What does this mean in my life? I don’t know, except that I must do, I must act; I absolutely must change and give all.

God I don’t want to be the same. Everything is Yours. Take it all Jesus. Everything. Family, money, shelter, friends, comfort, safety, everything God. Take my plans and my desires and destroy them. Make them yours God. All I care about is You Jesus. You are all that matters. I want to be obedient. Make me obedient Father. I want to follow you.

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Precious Hanna got to be held in the arms of Jesus early Friday. My heart is broken. My prayers are consumed with intercessions for the Willinghams to receive comfort. I know that He is near the broken hearted and saves the crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). In Matthew 5:4 it says, Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. I know God intends this for good and for His glory, and I praise Him for that in the midst of the pain. I know I can rejoice in the fact that Hanna is in Heaven laughing and playing and praising Jesus with her big sister. She is no longer in pain, and she can move freely and she can breathe easily, and it is comforting to know that. In times like these, all I can do is know that God is God, and He is loving and merciful and kind and He is sovereign. All I can do is praise Him for this, and know that He has a plan and that this will in some way bring glory to His name. I am thankful for the time that Hanna was in this world, and all the time I got to spend with her and love on her. God blessed me so immensely in knowing her. And although my heart breaks, all I know to do is be thankful and rejoice in the character of God. He is worthy to be praised in all circumstances.

The LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD. Job 1:21

Hanna

Precious Hanna got to be held in the arms of Jesus early Friday. My heart is broken. My prayers are consumed with intercessions for the Willinghams to receive comfort. I know that He is near the broken hearted and saves the crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). In Matthew 5:4 it says, Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. I know God intends this for good and for His glory, and I praise Him for that in the midst of the pain. I know I can rejoice in the fact that Hanna is in Heaven laughing and playing and praising Jesus with her big sister. She is no longer in pain, and she can move freely and she can breathe easily, and it is comforting to know that. In times like these, all I can do is know that God is God, and He is loving and merciful and kind and He is sovereign. All I can do is praise Him for this, and know that He has a plan and that this will in some way bring glory to His name. I am thankful for the time that Hanna was in this world, and all the time I got to spend with her and love on her. God blessed me so immensely in knowing her. And although my heart breaks, all I know to do is be thankful and rejoice in the character of God. He is worthy to be praised in all circumstances.

The LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD. Job 1:21

Sweet Theology.

Dude. Amen brother.

Here’s a controversial subject that tends to divide

For years it’s had Christians lining up on both sides

By God’s grace, I’ll address this without pride

The question concerns those for whom Christ died

Was He trying to save everybody worldwide?

Was He trying to make the entire world His Bride?

Does man’s unbelief keep the Savior’s hands tied?

Biblically, each of these must be denied

It’s true, Jesus gave up His life for His Bride

But His Bride is the elect, to whom His death is applied

If on judgment day, you see that you can’t hide

And because of your sin, God’s wrath on you abides

And hell is the place you eternally reside

That means your wrath from God hasn’t been satisfied

But we believe His mission was accomplished when He died

But how the cross relates to those in hell?

Well, they be saying:


Lord knows He tried (8x)


Verse 2


Father, Son and Spirit: three and yet one

Working as a unit to get things done

Our salvation began in eternity past

God certainly has to bring all His purpose to pass

A triune, eternal bond no one could ever sever

When it comes to the church, peep how they work together

The Father foreknew first, the Son came to earth

To die- the Holy Spirit gives the new birth

The Father elects them, the Son pays their debt and protects them

The Spirit is the One who resurrects them

The Father chooses them, the Son gets bruised for them

The Spirit renews them and produces fruit in them

Everybody’s not elect, the Father decides

And it’s only the elect in whom the Spirit resides

The Father and the Spirit- completely unified

But when it comes to Christ and those in hell?

Well, they be saying:


Lord knows He tried (8x)


Verse 3


My third and final verse- here’s the situation

Just a couple more things for your consideration

If saving everybody was why Christ came in history

With so many in hell, we’d have to say He failed miserably

So many think He only came to make it possible

Let’s follow this solution to a conclusion that’s logical

What about those who were already in the grave?

The Old Testament wicked- condemned as depraved

Did He die for them? C’mon, behave

But worst of all, you’re saying the cross by itself doesn’t save

That we must do something to give the cross its power

That means, at the end of the day, the glory’s ours

That man-centered thinking is not recommended

The cross will save all for whom it was intended

Because for the elect, God’s wrath was satisfied

But still, when it comes to those in hell

Well, they be saying:


Lord knows He tried (8x)

Calling.

Calling. Hmmm, what is mine? Well, that has been quite the topic with me and God. I feel like our conversations are consumed by this. When I talk about “my calling” I mean what God wants me to do with my life, but I think there are different kinds of callings, or I define them differently. 1^st and foremost I am called to be a follower of Christ. Period. The end. That is my goal, my journey, my purpose. That is the big calling. In this calling I consider all that goes along with, and is a part of being a Christian. This will not and cannot change.

I have, from the time I can remember, felt that my calling is to be a wife and a mother to whoever God gives me. That is the second calling, and this includes being a Proverbs 31 and Titus 2 wife, and following Ephesians 5:22-24, 1 Peter 3:1-7, as well as many others. I am to be an encourager and partner to this man. I am called to raise up children with knowledge about God, and pray for them, that they will come to the faith. I want to raise up children who are, as John Piper has said, “Christ-exalting, Bible-cherishing, Spirit-filled, doctrinally Reformed, people-loving, hard-thinking, deep-feeling, justice-advancing, and globally aware” while striving to be these things myself.

God has perfectly equipped me to be these things, and it is so beautiful to see how intimately He knows my heart and my desires and loves me in spite of myself. He made me so intricately with tiny quirks that mold to His plan in a way that shouts and praises His name.
So we have the first two callings down. Now to the third calling, at the moment I am called to be a teacher, and that is what I am going to school to do. I don’t know the details of this calling; God can take this and do with it what He will. This calling can change; If God wants me to do something else tomorrow, I am there.

From then on, the callings are smaller. For example, I know God wants me to be at Asbury at this point in time, but I do not know why yet. The struggle comes in when I begin to compare my calling to that of others. I guess, at times, I feel as though mine are plain, basic, trivial, or simplistic. I love all of these things that are part of, or are going to be a part of my life, but I suppose I sometimes wish I was called to be a missionary in a foreign country. I would love it if I was supposed to do something extreme and different. At the moment I am not called to go to another country of do something wild or unique. This could definitely change. Considering the fact that my callings are to be a wife, mother and teacher, everything else can change, like location, or area of teaching, or even vocation. The location and job are dependent on what God wants my future husband to do. I am to follow Christ and obey the authority He has given my future husband.

When I see people in my life that I love so much, doing, or planning to do, all of these incredible, comfort zone pushing, life changing things, I get jealous. This is not saying that I don’t love God’s plan for my life, because I do. It is just that I can see God moving so much in their lives and in those that they come in contact with. I wish that I could see God moving more in His plans for my life.

I don’t want to be seen as this typical American “Christian” who doesn’t live for God. They are so much of this world that Christ is an afterthought, if even that. I don’t want to be viewed as someone who does something typical because they are scared of putting action behind their faith. I want people to see that I have been transformed by the LORD’s extravagant love, grace, and mercy; and am willing to do anything that He will have me do.

I guess the issue comes about when I get calling judgy. Who am I to disrespect God’s plan for my life. It is disgusting. He is God, sovereign beautiful creator of the universe, and I act as though what He wants me to do isn’t good enough. This reminds me of Romans 9:20, which says, “But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, "Why have you made me like this?" - The answer is NO by the way.

Precious Savior, purge the sin from me, so that I may become more like you. Refine me in whatever way necessary, getting rid of the jealousy, coveting, self pity, arrogance, and anything not of you. Mold my desires to match your desires. Thank you for your mercy and your plan Abba Father.